What Now????: Always Wondering: "Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out"
"I am always wondering what people think of me. Why? I have no idea. It's not that I really care what others think of me, it's just that I..."
I am always wondering what people think of me. Why? I have no idea. It's not that I really care what others think of me, it's just that I am always second guessing myself, and then wondering what others think.
It happens at the most random times. Tonight my 4 year old had a t-ball game, and we were signed up to bring snack. I went and bought snacks (crackers and cheese & fruit snacks) and juice pouches. I passed them out after the game. But once I was in my car driving home I wondered what the parents thought because I forgot to put the juice in a cooler with ice, so they were somewhat warm by the time the game was over. How absolutely stupid is it that I would care what the other parents thought about the warm juice?
I'm not anti-social so I am friendly with the parents, but why should I care if they think I am a bad parent? But I do care. I don't necessarily care if they "like" me, that's not true I do want them to "like" me. But Why??? Does this make me some crazy person who needs the approval of others? Am I turning into someone who is going to start apologizing profusely for everything? Why am I even concerned with something I have no control over?
That's alot of questions that maybe I should sit down and think about...but who has the time to actually sit down? There is dishes to do, laundry that needs to be done, baths, stories and bed. Whew... you would think I have many more important things to occupy my brain power with...however, my mind wanders to warm juice. I think I may be loosing it...for good this time.
Has anyone else experienced this? Please let me know.
Obviously I am new to this blogging world. And I will now admit that I need HELP!!! I am in desperate need of a metor. Any takers????
I have no idea what I am doing and I have at least a million questions. I am not trying to make this my life, but I would like to feel as though I am accomplishing something. I browse other blogs, and I have blog envy. There are some really great blogs out there, and I feel a little jealous that I have no idea how to achieve this.
So if anyone wants to be my Blog Guru I would welcome you, and I promise not to drive you to crazy with my questions.
Alright I admit it I watch some reality shows...(not faithfully and I only watch the auditions)
With that being admitted... PARENTS please do yourself and your children a favor and let them know they CANNOT sing, dance, etc, etc...
I love watching all of the clueless people audition for American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance. But what really bothers me is that there are parents standing there getting angry, upset, down right mad that the Judges have the "nerve" to well judge their babies. That is what they are there for, right?
It is up to us as parents to let our children know that they have the ability to do anything they want. However, this can only go so far. I am a parent who believes that my children are GREAT, at everything they do, however, I will draw the line at letting them go on national television and making a complete fool out of themselves (and me).
I would hope that I would have the ummmm (balls) courage to let them know that maybe this particular talent that they "think" they possess doesn't really suit their future. I know without a doubt that my daughters will be great at whatever they choose for future career, but I am not so blind as to see that they WILL NOT be the next pop star, or back-up dancer.
I would feel like more a failure as a parent if I let my child think that they have a shot at being one of these fame hungry idiots, rather than just sitting them down and letting them know that it is great that they LOVE to _____(insert whatever show/audition here), but maybe they should just keep that as a hobby, and focus their energies on something a little more realistic that won't embarrass them in front of millions of people.
I know I sound like a hard-a**, and I'm really not. But come on parents stop letting your child go on thinking that they are so good, and then heart broken when someone (should have been you) tells them the truth.
So I guess the moral of the story is PARENTS:
Encourage your children to follow their dreams...but don't be stupid and let them think they are soooo good that nobody could think any different.
(by the way I really do LOVE my kids and know that they are great at everything they do....but America doesn't need to witness all of their "talents")
It's the end of May for crying out loud!!! And the weather still SUCKS!!! What the hell did we do to piss off Mother Nature this year?
My kids need to be outside!!!! Mommy needs a break.
In my opinion it was a okay winter(not too terribly rough), but I am ready for spring/summer already. Spring has not fully sprung yet, and I am anxiously waiting every day. Sure there have been teasers here and there but we have not had a full week of good weather yet.
I am the mom who wants, no needs, her kids to be outside running all day, because they have way too much energy to be inside. I am the mom who loves to watch her kids play sports (yes I am a soccer mom), I love to watch them play with friends, but most of all I just love to let them out. And I CANNOT do that if it is raining and cold everyday.
I do suffer from seasonal depression (I have diagnosed myself). I need sunshine, I need warm weather, I need birds singing, and fresh air. I need all of these things to get through the day. I have never really thought these were unreasonable demands, however, I am now thinking maybe I'm asking for to much. I know that I live in Michigan, but enough with this crap weather already.
I want Summer and I want it NOW (yes now I sound like my 4 year old and I don't care)!!!!
I have never been great at "scheduling" time for myself, however, since becoming a mother I NEVER have time for myself. How about you? Do you schedule time for just you, whether going to the gym, reading a good book, or just relaxing with a drink? And how often?
It seems for most moms that I know once we have a child/ren anything and everything about us no longer matters or requires/get any attention at all. It suddenly becomes all about everyone (and I mean everyone) elses needs/requirements.
I am curious about this. How does someone like me go from being a self absorbed, spoiled brat (yes I admit this was me in my youth)...to this person I have become. I have become your "typical" mom. I will do pretty much whatever my kids want whenever they ask for it. (Within reason of course). I do all of the motherly things, and never give a thought to what I want or what I may need. I am not tooting my own horn (mostly, because I am not sure if these are good qualities or not).
But every once in a while I will come upon some self pity that I have buried pretty deep, and it all comes bubbling to the surface. I whine to myself "What about me?" "Don't I matter to anyone?" Well I know the obvious answer to this is yes I do matter to alot of people, but try telling that to me once I have let that pity party start.
I know without a doubt I am loved, and appreciated. But I really think that there should be some way to show every mother out there that we are appreciated for everything we do and give up.
Maybe it starts with all the other moms we know. Let's try it. Next time you see a fellow parent having a hard time or just looking a little lost, try giving them a smile or some nice words letting them know that you too have had "those" days, and they are not alone. I know from experience that it does help when you know others are feeling the same way you are. Parenting can sometimes feel very isolated and lonely, and it shouldn't have to. So just make someones day a little brighter and give a smile. I sure know there are quite a few days where a smile goes a long, long way!
Not really much happening in my world...
Although it has been a GREAT weekend. Relaxing, and with mostly beautiful weather...couldn't ask for more. I have spent alot of time with family and friends this weekend, and that has gotten me thinking about how grateful I am for my family (with includes friends).
First off, my BFF and I have decided (and started which are 2 very different things) to start working out. We are really doing it!!! I can't believe how out of shape I really am, but I have started and now I am determined to keep going. Sore or not (and boy am I sore)! D (you know who you are) - thanks for the motivation and the workout time with you it really does help having you next to me.
Secondly, my family is the absolute BEST!!! I have great kids, an awesome "better half" and great extended family. We had a spur of the moment cookout today, great food, great conversation, and just plain ole' fun. I love to see everyone getting along and just enjoying being together. It should always be like that. Sadly, in my family that is not the case...but it was today. WAHOOOOOO!!!!
Finally, the coupons really paid off today. I got some stuff that we use and needed for some really great deals. And even a couple of free things.
So all in all it was a good weekend, and I am confident in saying bring it on Monday...I am ready for you.
Hope everyone else enjoyed their weekend as much as I did.
I think that everyone has been affected by the economy at some point. Luckily, my family has not been affected nearly as bad as most. However, with that being said I am trying to cut back and save some money. And just to give you all a head's up this is NOT my strongest area.
With all that being said I have decided to start using coupons. This sounds simple enough right??? One would think that you buy a Sunday newspaper, clip the coupons and then go shop, right? Well no way would anything that I try to do be that easy.
I have to admit that I have watched the shows (you know which ones I am speaking of). And I do NOT aspire to turn my garage or basement or any other area of my home into my own person super market, but would like to have a "supply" of the things we use or eat on a regular basis.
So as I mentioned I have watched the shows, read several different websites, and done a ton of research. And now I am just completely overwhelmed and in over my head. And did I mention that my "better half" laughs when I tell him this crazy idea of mine. Support at its finest!!!
According to everything that I have seen in order to get any of the "really good deal" you must purchase approximately 1 newspaper per person in your household per week. Wow, that is quite a bit of money spent (wasted) right there. Then you must have a system for keeping track of all the great coupons that you will collect. This is just one big organizing nightmare for me!!! Finally you apparently have to go to all of the store right when the sales start so that you can be the first one in line to get the deals.
I decided to try out a couple (3) of the coupons last week (at the Drugstore, I am no where near ready to tackle groceries) and low and behold every single item that I had a coupon for was sold out, and the sales associate had no idea when they would be getting another shipment of these items. Wow, what a waste of time!
So I guess the moral of this long winded story is I will only be buying my usual 1 copy of the newspaper per week, and I will hopefully find the items that we need/use and will buy only the quantity we use...
I have no desire to be the selfish/greedy people who buy obscene amounts of anything just because they can...
Okay so today has been filled with "Mom Guilt" Does anyone else suffer from this horrible disease???
Oh good, I'm not the only one! Sure does feel like it at times.
There has been at least 15 times today that I have felt guilty but let me just give you a couple of examples.
Let's start with the beginning...I wake up and realize that at some point during the night my 4 year old has snuck into bed to sleep with me, and now I am awoken to her whimpering (not really crying because she honestly never even woke up). Well anyways, she had rolled out of bed and hit her head, arm, should, hand, pretty much her whole upper body on my night table. So here is where the guilt kicks in...I should have realized that she was in bed with me. I should have anticipated that she may roll out of my bed being that it sits pretty high up.
Alright ready for more "Mom Guilt" from just today mind you?? My sixteen year old daughter has had her license and car for just over 1 week. Well today she parked in the garage and needed to get out. No big deal right??? Well actually it turned into one. She had a car parked behind her and a garbage can on the other side of her. So she is backing out and turns the wheel to avoid hitting one and almost hits the other. Whose fault is this??? Well mine of course (my words not hers). I once again should have anticipated that it was going to be a tighter fit than she was comfortable with and either helped guide her, or just backed the dang car out for her. She handled it better than expected however, I could tell that it was her first (of many) close calls while driving, which is upsetting.
So as far as the "Mom Guilt" goes I sure wish I could have super powers...super human strength, seeing the future, changing the past, invisibility... Well the list could go on and on but you get the point.
I guess maybe after all as Mother's we do have a very special super power...the power to comfort and love our kids like no one else in the world. And I truly hope with everything I have that I do that every single time they feel like they need it.
Okay I have decided that today I will blog about something that I find very important/stressful/and downright nightmare. Bedtime! In my house there really is no set bedtime for anyone. With that being said...I HATE it. I wish I was one of the parents I know or read about who put their children to bed at a reasonable time and then get to sit and relax or clean in peace or do basically whatever they want for a couple of hours. I have to admit at this point that I am not much of a hard a**. My "better half" is much better at the whole bedtime thing than I could ever hope to be. Let's get some of the facts out in the open. 1) I can not stand to hear my kids crying for me, I will cave every time. 2) I have given in and let both of my kids sleep in my bed from birth. (although my 16 year old stopped a long time ago) and 3) It hasn't really bothered me to share my bed until recently. I aspire to be a parent who bathes, brushes teeth, reads all while settling my daughter down and then I turn out the light and walk out of the room only to return a short while later and see her sleeping peacefully. Where or where did I ever go wrong. Oh that's right it all started at birth. More admissions from me. I am just to dang tired at the end of the day (OK, OK not tired probably more lazy) to deal with all the chaos that goes along with bedtime in my house. Normally the little "angel" will get a bath, have a snack and then pretty much play until she drops. I know not good at all. But I am a work in progress and am always looking for ways to become a better Mom, person, human. Whew... I really hope to get some constructive comments and (possibly even a night-time nanny). This is me laying my faults and all out here for everyone to read...so have a great day, and remember to give me a quick thought tonight at bedtime when you have a quite house and a glass of wine in your hand.
Alright, well here goes nothing...If you are reading this you may or may not realize that this is my 1st official blog. I am super excited, I have always wanted to be a writer (I know I would suck, and this is as close as I will come) however, this is my chance to tell some stories and pretend that people will read them and possibly even like them. Wow, what am I thinking?? Let me tell you a little about myself, I am the mom of two impossibly beautiful girls who I love more than anything else in this world, but at times I am willing and ready to give anything, and I mean anything for some silence and a glass (OK, OK a bottle) of wine. My girls are 12 years apart and at times I wonder if I had a momentary laps of judgment for having a second one. What was I thinking???? I had a child who was almost self sufficient and more than half way to adulthood, and I went and started all over again. Whew, now don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade my life for anything (well lets not say anything) but I know I have it pretty darn good. All this being said stay tuned for some of the interesting, over the top, and funniest moments of my world. Or to quote my favorite phrase "Now What???"
