Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I am always wondering what people think of me. Why? I have no idea. It's not that I really care what others think of me, it's just that I am always second guessing myself, and then wondering what others think.
It happens at the most random times. Tonight my 4 year old had a t-ball game, and we were signed up to bring snack. I went and bought snacks (crackers and cheese & fruit snacks) and juice pouches. I passed them out after the game. But once I was in my car driving home I wondered what the parents thought because I forgot to put the juice in a cooler with ice, so they were somewhat warm by the time the game was over. How absolutely stupid is it that I would care what the other parents thought about the warm juice?
I'm not anti-social so I am friendly with the parents, but why should I care if they think I am a bad parent? But I do care. I don't necessarily care if they "like" me, that's not true I do want them to "like" me. But Why??? Does this make me some crazy person who needs the approval of others? Am I turning into someone who is going to start apologizing profusely for everything? Why am I even concerned with something I have no control over?
That's alot of questions that maybe I should sit down and think about...but who has the time to actually sit down? There is dishes to do, laundry that needs to be done, baths, stories and bed. Whew... you would think I have many more important things to occupy my brain power with...however, my mind wanders to warm juice. I think I may be loosing it...for good this time.
Has anyone else experienced this? Please let me know.