Monday, September 12, 2011


I am ready to admit it....


there I said it, and now I feel like such a weight has been lifted.

I put everything off until the last minute.

I put schoolwork off...
I put housework off...
I put life off...

and then I get pissed because I feel like I have no time, and no help, and everyone ends up pissing me off.

Why do I do this you ask?


I can't stand the fact that I do this.


I especially can't stand other people who do this (yes I judge them, and don't you judge me)

So here I am asking for help


How do I become the organized, responsible, well put together mom, woman, person I crave to be?  I really want to be that person!!!  I want to have more time, and still have accomplished the things that need to be done (and I don't mean in a unrealistic way).  I don't want to be the person who puts everything off until the last minute.  I don't. I don't. I don't.

Am I alone in this, or does any have any suggestions for me.

(by the way don't judge the spelling in this laptop is screwing with me)

Friday, September 9, 2011


I am curious to know what you all think...

How do you know when an acquaintance has become a friend????


How do you know when friendships have just faded and are better left by the wayside????

Recently I have had a couple of these experiences where I am not really sure if this person wants to be considered a friend or maybe they are just being polite, or I am just in the right place at the right time, and they feel like talking.

I also have a couple of friends who I thought I was fairly close with who now seem to not have the time of day for me...ok maybe I am not that broken up about this friendship because it was pretty one sided anyways, but none the less it was a friendship.

I am not the type of girls who has a ton of friends especially girlfriends.  I am not very outgoing, and I would most of the time rather not be surrounded by "snarky" women, and most women seem to be "snarky".  Of course if I feel really comfortable I can become a little snarky, but I do want more to talk about than just the usual gossip.  So this typically doesn't make me many female friends.  Oh yeah, and I do not put myself out there!!!!

No I am just rambling and completely away from my original questions.

So please leave me a message and give me your take on friendship.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Where I Have Been

Everyone let me tell you where I have been....


I have had a HUGE case of the lazies...

I have felt overwhelmed with every aspect of my life...

and I have just been in a nasty funk.

This is nothing new, this normally happens to me from time to time, but once in a while it takes a little work to get me back into the swing of things.

I am hoping that with school starting again for me and the girls, a new routine will be established and that might help me gain some sort of stability. 

Life is good and should be enjoyed so that is now my mission...(well while doing all the shit work too laundry, cleaning, cooking...)

So I am back and will try my best not to disappear again!!!!

Friday, August 19, 2011

Fawk You Friday

Linking up with Boobies again...check her out 
(she is pee your pants funny)

This week my big FAWK YOU's go to....

The construction men who are building a house behind mine. They think it's okay to work from 6 am until 9 or 9:30 pm.

Back to school shopping - why the hell is everything so expensive????

College Textbook - $200 for a book...really???  But I will pay it because I have no other choice.

Ants - yes those pesky little things that travel in hundreds.  They have infested my kitchen and no matter what I do they survive.

So people there is my Fawk You's for this week, let me know what has been pissing  you off.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

10 Lessons

Alright I am going to attempt to conquer one of Mama Kat's writing prompts this week!!!

Here it is...

10 Lessons your child could teach you.

Since I have 2 daughters I may alternate back and forth because as you may know they think I am quite possibly the stupidest human in the world at times.

1.  Patience - my younger daughter has more patience than my older one, however they both have way more patience than I could ever hope to have.

2.  Persistence - they are both like animals when they get an idea into their head they will not let go!!!

3. Money Saving Tips - neither one will spend a penny of their money (but they will spend mine very freely)

4. How to stop and enjoy the moment - Kids grow fast, too fast.  I need to be reminded to stop and enjoy them.

5. How to stop worry all the time about everything - My kids have no worries (exactly how it should be for kids) but watching them enjoy something big or small reminds me that my life is pretty darn good.

6. Selflessness - my girls have taught me that it is no longer about me and my wants (or needs).  I would do anything to make sure my kids are taken care of, and have every they want.  When I was younger I never wanted kids, mainly because I was too selfish, but now I can't imagine a life without my girls.  They are my world and I love that I have them.  I wouldn't go back to my selfish ways for anything.

7. Cleaning - it is IMPOSSIBLE to have a completely clean house when you have children.  Don't even waster your time trying.  Pick up as you go and get someone to take them occasionally so that you can really clean.  Otherwise you are wasting you time and energy, because as soon as you clean one area there will be children waiting to mess it right back up.

8. No matter how hard you try at some point you will become "one of those parents".  Your children will act up when you don't want them to.  Your children will embarrass you at some point.  Your child will say something that will mortify you.  Your child will do all of these things, and you just have to deal with it. I never thought I would become "that mom" however, it has happened on many occasions.

9. Noise Levels - It never fails that when you sit down to watch something on television that you want, is the exact moment your child will decide to pick up the loudest toy they own and play with it right next to you.  They will also decide to scream, sing, or anything else that will make it impossible for you to watch, focus, or enjoy anything that doesn't give them your full and complete attention.

10. L-O-V-E my kids have taught me the meaning of true unconditional love.  Not only how much I love them but how much they love me.  A child's love for their parents is the most amazing feeling, they don't care what you have or what you can give them, they just want to be loved.  I don't think I could love my girls anymore than I already do, but then something happens and my heart gets bigger and I realize that my love for them will always fill my heart no matter how big it gets.

My girls have taught me many more lessons but these were the 10 that came to mind.  I would love to hear what you have learned from your kids.

And here they are the loves of my life my amazing girls.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

"And How Was Your Week"

I would like to start out with some complaints (surprise, surprise)!!!

I am annoyed with construction men who think it is acceptable to work until past 9 pm??? First of all it is dark people, yes it is just getting dark, but dark is dark.  And secondly, my daughter is in bed, most of the time asleep, and if you wake her I will want to kill you with a dull knife.  After she goes to bed is the ONLY time I get kid-free, and I look forward to that so don't think you will take away my peace and quite.

I am annoyed with health food.  I want to eat health, I really do.  But the temptation of junk food is so overwhelming I really have no willpower and I will always want to eat the crap before the "good" stuff.

Again with the motivation/willpower I have absolutely none, zip, zero, zilch.  I want to get back into a healthy weight range.  I want to fit into my clothes.  I want to live a more health life.  Yes, I really do want all of these things, however, I have no idea how to find and keep my motivation.  Any ideas???

These are just some of the things that annoyed me this week.  And just so you know there are many things in my life that I am thankful for it's just not as much fun to write about those...

So how was your week????

Summer Fun Show Off

I am linking up with Shell at for her Summer Fun Show Off...

Link up to your Summer Fun for a chance to win prizes from Ubisoft -

You may not know this about me but I am horrible when it comes to taking pictures.  I don't mean I take bad pictures I mean I never have a camera and even if I do have a camera I never ever remember to use it.  As a matter of fact I don't even own a camera right now....I know bad parent.  However, my mom more than makes up for my lack of good parenting/skills.  She always has her camera with her and ready.  So luckily my kids lives are documented...just not by me. 

So here are some of my favs (not all are from this summer, alright none are from this summer)

(Some are pretty old but I haven't copied my Mom's memory card recently so don't judge me I feel bad enough already!!!)

Sunday, August 7, 2011

"What's Going On In Your Pants"

In my house there has been a rule made up recently, like while on vacation this June in New York.  Here is the "rule"... we cannot discuss what is happening in our pants.  Sounds a little strange, yeah it does to me too.  Let me explain...

While in NY I had mentioned that we need to hit up a drugstore so that I could buy some girly products (period time -of course I was on vacation, when else would I start???).  My "better half" decided that was more information than he needed to know/hear and I was told that it was an overshare.  I promptly informed him that 3 of the 4 occupants of the car either has had or would be having periods and he lived in a house with ALL females so suck it up and drive.  He decided he would pull rank and institute a new rule for the family.  New rule being we are no longer allowed to speak of anything happening in our pants. 

This new rule is funny for a couple of different reason but mainly because the "better half" is ALWAYS letting us know when he has had, needs to have, or simply cannot have a movement (as in bowel movement).  So we are always aware of what is happening in his pants.

Okay so that is the backstory now let me tell you how this all ties into last week.

I was having some issues that kind of had something to do with what was going on in my pants.  I really did think maybe I had a bad case of gas or something similar to that...but this is what happened.

On Monday, we had a busy day getting our 4 year old ready to start school on Wednesday.  We took her shoe, clothing, and supply shopping.  Yes, we did all of this in one afternoon. Have I mentioned that I am a procrastinator???  While shopping I started to get stomach cramps, nothing terrible but I was feeling like something just wasn't right.  Like always I ignored my symptoms and continued on with life.

On Tuesday, the 16 year old went in the morning to have all 4 wisdom teeth removed.  She was terrified, and I was anxious.  I didn't like the idea of her being put under.  Anyhow, everything went great with her.  But in the meantime I was still have the cramps but they were beginning to become intense.  Again, I ignored them and tended to my daughter.

Tuesday night at 8 p.m. I could no longer ignore the pain and decided to go to the Urgent Care.  Once there I waited for approximately forever to be seen, and once the doctor took one look at me and my symptoms promptly informed me that I MUST go to the ER immediately.  He was sure I had appendicitis. 

So off to the ER I went, where I wait for another eternity to be seen by a doctor.  Once seen by this doctor she too was sure I would need surgery to remove my appendix.  Well let me tell you, that I let both of these doctor know I did not have time for surgery one kid was at home in pain from teeth removal, the other kid had her first day of school the following morning, and to top it off my mom was moving the next day.  I could in no way, shape or form be in the hospital or laid up at home.  Needless to say neither doctor cared or felt sorry for me.

So here is what happened... it turned out to not be my appendix, I actually have a cyst on my ovary.  Extremely painful and very similar to your appendix bursting (so I'm told).  I didn't need surgery, however, I was unable to take my daughter for her first day of school, and could only lay on the couch for the next 24 hours (but the pain meds were really good).

So my week wasn't great.  But on a happier note my daughter is doing great.  She ended up having one of the incisions become infected so they cut that open and gave her antibiotics, and she is back to her ole' self now.  I am almost pain free and back in the swing of things.  And my younger daughter only gives me a guilt trip once in a while about not being able to take her.  However, I have had to promise that I will TRY to take her and pick her up for the rest of the year (notice the promise involved the word TRY).

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out

Linking up once again with Shell from Things I Can't Say...

I am supposed to be pouring my heart out, but I really can't find any one thing that I am ready to pour my heart out about.  I know this is a shock, because in my world there is always something that is happening and I need to vent, talk about.

I guess I am just going to talk about a couple of things that are happening right now.

First, I am not good with change (any kind of change).  I look like I can deal with it and I act like it doesn't bother me but on the inside I am cringing, crying, stomping my feet and acting like a big baby.  I like things to stay just as they have been because I know how everything works, and I feel comfortable with everything. 

With this being said my life has some big (they are big to me) changes coming up...

My dad who has always lived relatively close to me is now moving further away (not far but just further)

My mom who has always lived close by and spent alot of time with me and my kids now is moving also (not far just moving) and has stopped spending as much time with us.  I know this is nothing personal, and she is still the best Mom, and Mimi but it's just different.

And as you all probably already know my oldest daughter turned 16 in May, she got her license her car and I guess her freedom.  She has turned into a very independent, responsible, and mature young woman.  I am extremely proud, but I miss her needing me.

My "better half" works out of state and once again football season is upon us.  Which means he will be gone 5 days a week and we will only see him long enough for him to get clean clothes and take off again. 


My youngest is starting her second year of preschool and has grown up soooo much.  I miss the baby stage, heck I even miss the toddler stage.  She has become very independent and doesn't need me to do very much for her (I still have to pick up after her). 

So it seems that there are alot of changes happening and the more I want thing to stay the same, the more they change.  But I will put on my big girls pants (no jokes needed) and I will deal with everything, just like I always do.

This is whats happening in my world...hope you deal better with changes than I do.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

School's Out!!!

It's official I have finished all of my summer classes.  I can now sit back and enjoy the rest of the summer.  However, my youngest starts school in 7 days so that doesn't leave much time.  But I will do my best to make August fun and memorable for my kids.

Now I just need to decide what to do...

I am not a parent who thinks that children should be entertained 24/7 but I would like to do some special things.  It's hard to find things that I enjoy, that my 16 year old enjoys, and that my 4 year old enjoys.  Sometimes it seems that is an impossible task.  But I am up for it!!!

I will enjoy myself and my daughters will enjoy themselves (even if I have to make them)!!!

So I am off to begin my search of things to do with my wonderful girls.

Any suggestions???

Monday, July 25, 2011

To Marry or Not to Marry????

In my house there have been conversations for many, many, many years about marriage.  To marry or not to marry that is the question!!!

A little back story...

My "better half" and I have been together for almost 7 years.  We have the house(s) (we currently own 2 homes with 2 mortgages...damn economy but that's another blog), we have the daughters, we have the car payments, we have all the monthly bills...(I could go on but I won't...)

So there has been some debate, I mean discussions regarding marriage.  I think that we should at least be engaged (yes I want the damn ring, not so much the wedding but I really want the ring, come to think of it maybe I should just go buy a ring, because I have no need for the actual proposal or wedding)...Does it make me a little or alot strange that I have no desire for any of the over the top girlyness that weddings bring????

He thinks that things are good the way they are and not that he doesn't love me and want to spend the rest of his life with me but money would be more wisely spent on other things...such as college for the kids, retirement funds, saving for the future basically.  Did I mention that he is obsessive about money.  When it comes to money, he plans, and plan, and plans.  He tends to be a workaholic and tries as hard as he can without killing himself to give us a great life.  Which he does very well.

I love him and I know he loves me so is it really a big deal if I have a ring or not?  Does that piece of paper actually have any significance in our otherwise happy existence?  Are there still really people who can't believe that people like us wouldn't "just do it already"?  Well the answer to the last one is yes, and I have met some of them (they are not pleasant people).

So whats your take on this situation????

What do you think about marriage???? 

No I really do want your honest opinions.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Fawk You Friday

It seems that the only posts I can manage lately are the Fawk You here it goes.
Check out Christy over at  she is great!!!

Fawk You Friday

1.  Fawk You to the Dad's out there that have no guilt going and doing something that doesn't involve the kids.  I sadly am not like that, I feel guilty if I don't take them with me while doing something fun.

2.  Fawk You heat... I know I was begging for summer but dang this 110 degree heat index is a bit much...wonder if its that global warming everyone was talking about?

3.  Fawk You childhood immunizations I had to take my baby (well she is 4) to the doctor for a check-up and they gave her 5 shots!  Well without a doubt we had D-R-A-M-A she kicked, screamed, and the tears were flowing.  After that we got to deal with fever, sore legs, and more D-R-A-M-A.

and finally...

4.  Fawk You to the oral surgeon who is removing my oldest daughters wisdom teeth.  Really 2 grand for you to take out 4 teeth.  And this is on top of the 5 grand we already spent on braces.  Her mouth is worth more than a nice used car at this point.  However, we will pay for it with a smile because I love my daughter and her smile is priceless to me.  But I may come home and cry afterward thinking of all the purses I could have bought for 2 GRAND!!!

Hope you have a great week.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Fawk You Friday

I am linking up with Boobies, Babies & A Blog Click on this link and check her out.  She is one of my must reads!!!

So here is my list of Fawk You's...
(I have tons this week but I am narrowing it down to just a couple of big ones...)

1.  Fawk Sleep...I can't sleep when I want to but when I can't sleep (because of stuff to do) I could sleep for hours.

2.  Being an Adult -- I want to go back to summers when I was a kid. With no responsibility and just fun all day long.

3.  Housework/Homework/and everything else that takes my energy...I have no energy/desire to do anything.

And finally a big fat FAWK YOU to:

Casey Anthony...I am sick and tired of her getting all this media attention.  You killed your daughter and got away with just go crawl into hole and don't let anyone see your face again. 
P.S. I will not watch a movie/television special or read a book that she will profit from.

So this is the short list...

Hope your week has been better than mine!

Thursday, July 14, 2011


Well as you can tell I have not posted a blog in over a week...why you ask?  Well let me explain...Oh that's right I have no explanation at all, I mean none, can't even begin to make one up...

I am just lazy, and when I say lazy I mean in not wanting to do anything. 

I don't want to blog...

I don't want to do schoolwork...

I don't want to play with the kids...

I don't want to do a damn thing...

You know how some people suffer from seasonal depression in the winter?  Well I think I am suffering from seasonal depression in the summer.  How is this even possible?  I love summertime!!! I love the sun!!!

What is going on with me????

I am really trying to get out of this funk, so please just hang with me.  I promise to post some funny stories about things that have happened whether or not I wanted to be there when they did.

But for now I am going to continue to make myself put on my big girl pants and suck it up.  Maybe if I pretend I want to do things, I will start believing that I actually do.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

We Want to Know Wednesday!


Today I am linking up with We Want To Know Wednesday...go over and check them out...

And now for the questions...

1. Name five of your favorite new blogs that you're reading.
There are a couple of blogs that I stalk they are
 Amy @
Shell @
Holly @
There are many more but check these ones out first.
2. When you were a young child or teenager, did you have an idea of how many children you wanted and what their names would be?  Did you follow through on your ideas?  When I was younger I hated kids.  I didn't want to babysit or entertain any child.  I was 12 when my nephew was born and I thought he was just a pain in my a** (I have since gotten over this), but I love my girls and would do it all over again.
3. What is the silliest thing you fight with someone about?  It could be your spouse, sibling, parents, co-worker, etc.  I tend to fight with anybody about anything.  I should have been a lawyer because I LOVE to argue. The silliest thing are probably when I argue with my 4 year old (yes I do argue with her)
4. What is your favorite scent that others may not find very nice? Ex. gasoline, sweat from your sweetie, etc.  I don't really have any crazy scents because my nose is super sensitive...I can't stand any really strong smells.
5. What are your thoughts on plastic surgery? (Have you had it? Want it? Regrets?)  I haven't had any...but I totally would.  There are alot of things I would fix if I had the money.  Whatever make you happy!!!

This was fun thanks for taking the time to read my answers!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Fawk You Friday

I am linking up with Boobies, Babies, & A Blog for Fawk You Friday.  If you haven't checked out this blog you should click the link immediately

Alright so this is my first time with Fawk You Friday so here it goes....

Fawk You Summer kids need a break from me as much as I need a break from them...

Fawk You "free" summer activities for end up costing me more than if I was to just pay for the damn activity.

Fawk You Mother Nature you keep teasing us with summer and then taking it right back away.  I want a full day of sun NOW!!!

Fawk You well no Fawk Me because my house is NEVER clean and I am sick and tired of cleaning it.

Tell me how was your week?????

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hardest Decision Part II

Linking up with Shell over at

So I left off, finding out that I was 16 and pregnant, and with my parents going through a nasty divorce battle.

I needed to decide which was the best/easiest way to break the news to my parents...but little did I know that telling them wasn't going to be left up to me.  The baby's Dad (lets call him "J") decided to tell his mom, who in turn, decided it was her place to call my Dad and let him know all about the pregnancy.  So once the shock and disappointment wore off, I knew I needed to tell my Mom and quick.  I finally just blurted it out! My Mom said she had a feeling and then promptly started crying for days and days (like 3 or more).  I have never felt more alone, humiliated, embarrassed, mortified, scared, and just overwhelmed.  But no matter what else was happening between my parents they both sat me down and let me know that whatever my decision was they would be behind me and support me the best they could.  I was told they were my parents no matter what and they would always love me.  And to this day they are my biggest cheerleaders, and great support.

I decided that abortion wasn't a choice I was ready or willing to make and adoption was just completely out of the question for me, so I was having this baby.  Well little did I know that having a baby changes everything, especially when you are 16 and have always been "the baby" of the family.  I needed to grow up and fast.  So that is exactly what I did.  Now I am not going to sit here and tell you that everything was just perfect from that point on because I would be lying through my teeth, but I did make many changes right away.  Baby's Dad "J" did not, and still has not.  I decided  that if I was having this baby I needed to do my best to make my life and this child's life the best that it could possibly be. 

I knew this meant getting an education and a job.  I am proud to say that after ALOT of hard work  I graduated on time and did this while taking care of my now daughter and working to support our needs.  I didn't always have great jobs, but I always had a job that paid.  There were times when I worked two jobs just to make the money we needed to live.  I have been going to college on and off for years now, but am happy to say that I will SOMEDAY get my college degree.

Needless to say because I am pretty sure you figured it out but baby's Dad "J" and I didn't work.  He was young (so was I) however, I was willing and ready to grow up and take on the responsibility that I/we created.  He wasn't and isn't a part of her life, but that is his thing and he will have to come to terms with himself and her when the time comes.  He of course blames me for his lack of parenting, but he made the choices and he has to live with them. (I won't go into specifics but let me tell you this has not been friendly for a long time)  I will say I have  NEVER said a bad word about him to our daughter and she has always known who he is.  She will need to make up her own mind about him and what she thinks/wants their relationship to be like. 

Fast forward 10 years and I met the most wonderful man I have ever known.  I had not been in any type of relationship for about 6 years at this point.  So me and my daughter were just living life and I really thought we were happy and had everything we could have wanted or needed.  Then one of my girlfriends invited me to go out with her and some friends, and I decided to go which was rare.  However, that night I met my "better half".  I told him from the start that I had a daughter who was my world and he would always take a backseat to her.  He was okay with this.  That should have been my first clue that he was a keeper.  Anyways, we dated for about 2 months and then I thought maybe they should meet.  That meeting left alot to be desired.  My daughter hated him because she believed that he was coming in between us, and that to her was the worst thing that could happen.  She learned that no matter who I dated or what was going on she was my number one priority.  She opened up and fell just as much in love with him as he fell in love with her.  They have the most amazing relationship today.  They have days that are just for the two of them.  He will take her shopping, then dinner and a movie, and she is learning what a Dad is supposed to treat you like.  She is learning that there are men out there that will love you unconditionally, and he is teaching her just as much as she is teaching him.  I am so thankful for the relationship they have developed.

My parents have always been the ones to help when I needed someone to babysit or just a shoulder to cry on, and then I met my "better half" and he taught me that there really are other people who want to be with you just because of who you are.  No string attached.

I have tons more drama that goes through out the past 16 years but I don't want to bore you, so let me know if you want me to keep going!!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

I'm Bored...what is there to do???

Summer means no school and in my kids eyes that means there is nothing to do and they are continually complaining they are bored.  Like I should be entertaining them or something.  I don't think so...

I have my own stuff to do, like homework, dishes, cleaning, laundry, cleaning some more (it never ends around here), oh and cooking (yeah right).  Anyway, I resolve that I will take my kids out and do something fun with them at least 3 times a week.

I admit it I am a complete and total homebody.  I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE. being home.  I am not someone who needs to be doing something outside the house at all waking moments.  I would rather be home doing homework, dishes, cleaning, laundry, cleaning some more (it never ends around here), oh and cooking (yeah right). That's right I said it I would rather be doing things at home then out running around doing crap that costs money and just makes me crazy.

So this summer I will take my kids out to do something fun at least 3 times a week, and this is on top of the 2 nights a week the little one plays T-Ball.  Whew am I striving to be the greatest mom of all time or what????

Let me know what you do with your kiddos during summer and how many times per week do you take them to do things outside of the house (the backyard doesn't count, or so I have been  told).

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sorry I haven't been here!!!

I am just returning for a week with the in-laws in NY...I will continue with my blog as soon as I am unpacked and everything returns to normal (like that will ever happen).

Thank You all so much for the positive feedback from my Hardest Decision post, and I am going to posing the next part please hang with me until sanity returns.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Hardest Decision - Part 1

When I was sixteen I was faced with the biggest life changing decision I have ever had to make!!!

Let me give you a little insight into my sixteenth summer...

In July I turn the BIG 1-6, which meant I got my license, then in August I found out my parents were divorcing after 21 years of marriage, then in September I found out I was pregnant (more on this in a minute).  Whew that was quite a summer...right????

To put it mildly I had some major life changing things going on, and some very real, very hard decisions that had to be made.  The first major issues I had to deal with was the divorce, and this was only because my parents decided to fight for custody of a pregnant 16 year old.  Why either of them wanted me is still beyond my comprehension.  But they did, and I was made to sit with a Judge in her chambers and basically pick which parent I "liked" more and therefore wanted to live with.  Not a healthy situation for any child to go through.  Well I decided I would be the stubborn little brat that I was known for being and I told that Judge just what I thought of the situation and that I REFUSED to choose between my parents and she could just do whatever she wanted.  In the end my Mom got custody, but I was 16 not exactly a little kid and chose to see my Dad everyday.  I still to this day have the most amazing relationship with both of my parents,  and am continually grateful for them both of them.

Okay back to the pregnant 16 year old girl.  After much (ALOT) of consideration, crying, debating, crying, ignoring, crying, talking, and crying some more I decided that I was keeping this baby.  Boy oh Boy I had no idea what any of this meant, but I was keeping MY baby.  Little did I know at this point in my life this was going to be the biggest, most life changing, best decision I have ever made.  Of course at this point I have the "happily ever after" scenario in my head.  Being young and a kid myself, I thought I could take on and conquer anything...

More coming later...if anyone wants to hear more.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Affection...isn't this something that everybody wants and craves????  The answer is NO.

Growing up hugs, kisses, cuddles, and many many praises were normal in my household.

My parents are very affectionate, sometimes to a fault. (my parents aren't weird pedophiles or anything, just very loving people)  This is how I grew up and what I am/was used to.  This is how I learned to show love.  When you love someone you hug them, you kiss them, and you praise them.

But then I met my "better half"!  He is not opposed to affection but definitely lacks in the affection department.  He is not a hugger, not a kisser, not a cuddler.  This is not to say he doesn't do these things, he does, just not on a regular basis.  He is much better with the 4 year old then he is with others, but it still isn't the amount I grew up with.  He grew up with just his Mom (his Dad passed when he was young), not sure if this has anything to do with his "shying" away from affection, just an observation on my part.

As you can imagine this was quite an adjustment for me.  In previous relationships and from what I saw growing up I was used to couples holding hands, kissing, cuddling on the couch while watching T.V. and these things just seemed foreign to him.  Slowly he has come around to my way of thinking, and slowly I have become more like him.  I think this happens with alot of couples, maybe we are more normal than anyone could have ever imagined!!!

There are times when all of us need our space, but there are also times when everyone needs a hug, kiss, or just a special look that lets them know they are not alone and there are people who love and care for them.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Summer is almost here!!!

Summer is almost here officially - in our house anyway.

Alexis (16 year old) has 3 1/2 days (getting out at 11:10 am) of finals, then she will be done until the first week of September.  She is going to be a Junior...where has the time gone????

Ryan (4 year old daughter...yes she has a boys name) will be done with her first year of preschool tomorrow at 11:30 am (it looks like my "better half" will miss this special event because of stupid baseball and the games getting rained out)....Ryan will be starting her second year of preschool in the beginning of August.  This will be bittersweet, because on one hand I want her to stay my little girl, and I know she will and must grow up.

I am getting old!!!  I am not ready for my kids to grow up and need me less and less every day.  I know this is how life works but I am having a hard time with it.

Alexis is 2 years from graduation and going off to college, but I can already feel the pang in my heart from the empty nest syndrome.  I will miss her, attitude and all.  Wow I can't believe I just said I will miss the attitudes!!  Ryan will miss her big sister ALOT!!!

Summer is always an exciting time in our household.  We travel and have lazy days, and just enjoy each others company.  However, it also means that we are one summer closer to my kids leaving home (Ryan has awhile), and going off on their own.  I AM NOT READY FOR THIS!!!  I just want to keep my kids home and with me for as long as possible.  They are my babies and I am not ready for them to leave. 

Oh and by the way my daughter received a car for her 16th birthday back in this summer I may not be seeing her as much as I want.  Either that or there may be fights because I want her home and she wants to be with friends.

I just hope they realize how much I love and treasure the moments we do have together.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Type A personality

For those of you who don't know me personally I sometime can be a bit controlling...for those of you who do know me this must come as quite a surprise (NOT).  I have come to realize that I have a split personality (self diagnosed).  I have a tendency to become a type A with the blink of an eye, sometime I don't even know when it's going to happen.

Let me give you some examples...

Cleaning - when it comes to cleaning my house (especially kitchen and bathrooms) I can be downright brutal.  Do it my way or do NOT bother doing it.  In these rooms cleaning my way is the only RIGHT way!!! How or why I think this is beyond me, I can not for the life of me figure out why I have control issues with cleaning...because I HATE to clean.

Toys - I am fine (well maybe just okay) with my daughter getting out and playing with toys all day long.  However, when it comes to bedtime (translation anytime after dinner)  I must have all toys picked up and put away in the right place for me to be able to sit and relax, if this is not done and done right my whole evening is ruined.  How pathetic is this???

Laundry - I can NOT stand anyone doing MY laundry, I don't really care about anyone elses.  There is no one who washes, dries, or folds it to my liking.  Many have tried and not one person has succeeded.  Again pathetic!!!

Theses are just some of the bigger issues I have with household things not be done "right" or my way.  I don't want to bog this down with all of the things I have control issues with.  If I did I fear no one would ever come back to read this "crazy" woman's blog again.

Let me know if I am the only person with these control issues...or if you have some to add please feel free.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Doing it all on my own

Okay I am linking up with Shell over at  Check her out she is GREAT!!!

Anyway here it goes...

My "better half" works out of State so when he is working he is completely and totally out of the picture.  Meaning he can't help me in any way, shape or form.  This SUCKS!!!!

When we met I knew that this was his career choice and I grew to be okay with it.  (it was pretty rocky for awhile)  But once we had a child this whole working away from home thing became a bigger pain then I ever expected.  He misses ALOT, and I know this disappoints him as much as it does us.  But the part that is bothering me right now is when he is gone I get absolutely NO breaks from the kids.

I know he is working hard while away, and it sucks living out of a suitcase, however, do NOT call me and complain that you are bored, tired, hungry or anything else.  I am here with these kids being tested regularly, being asked to cook, drive, etc. etc. etc.  I do not need to hear your quite hotel room, and that you are trying to decide whether to go out to dinner with friends or order room service. 

Just once I would like to be the one to call home and complain that my hotel room is too quite and I can't decide what order and have delivered to my room, then eat and leave my tray for someone else to pick up once I have finished.

Just once I want to have the ability to be bored and try to figure out what I want to do, and not have to include a moody 16 year old, and a hyper 4 year old in my plans.  Just once I want to worry about ME and nobody else.

Is this all too much to ask for?  Yeah, it is but I can dream right?

Thank you for letting me get all of this out, now I must go and finish cooking, cleaning, and dealing with my 4 year old who never lets me get bored!!!

P.S.  I really do love my kids and "better half".  And I know just how lucky I really am.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

What Now????: Funny Things

What Now????: Funny Things: "My beautiful and creative 4 year old has said some knee slapping, laugh out loud things lately and I thought I would share a few. 1. She ..."

Funny Things

My beautiful and creative 4 year old has said some knee slapping, laugh out loud things lately and I thought I would share a few.

1.  She handed me her "baby" to hold (she has a name for every baby she owns and knows them all by heart, so don't screw up the names)  anyways I asked her what this new baby was named and she said "Beata".  I asked "Why did you name her that".  Ryan (my daughter) responded "because she is bad everyday and I want to beat her".  (on a side note I swear I have never told my child she is bad or I want to beat her...although I have thought it)

2.   Ryan put her finger into a small toy and naturally it got stuck.  Upon freeing her finger and asking her why should would put her finger into such a small hole she responded "because I wanted to see if it fit"  (Awww they minds of four year olds.)

3.   Ryan has told me on several occasion's that if I do something for her she will pay me "a million bucks".  (Apparently I need to keep my dreams to myself from now on.)

4.  I slipped and said Damn (I know bad mom) and Ryan looked at me and said "Mom - we do not say DAMN (loud voice with the word damn)"  How am I supposed to respond to that one?

I know there are many more that I wanted to share but right now the 4 year old I am writing about is demanding I read her a book, so I will. 

Let me know the funny things your kids say and how you respond.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Busy Busy Busy

So I am back at it!!!  The summer semester has started.  Yes that's right I am going to school this summer.  And I'm not sure how I feel about it.  I am taking a full load and at this point I am extremely overwhelmed and intimidated.  And to top it all off I am doing all of my classes online (which I have never done before).

I have am I going to get any school work done with both kids at home all day, everyday?  Will I be able to keep up?  Will I still be able to enjoy all of the summer activities that I love doing with my kids?  And finally will I still be a (somewhat) sane Mom at the end of summer?

Keeping my sanity has always been a questionable area, however, I feel like there is no hope with everything that is happening this summer.  Oh well I guess it might be fun to have the "crazy" mom, hopefully my kids will feel the same way.

I try to do my best in school (not to toot my own horn but I have been on the President's List), and with online classes and the kids home I am stressing a little (LOT) that I won't be able to put everything I normally do into my school work.  I will have to make time, and hopefully the kids will corporate!!! Who am I kidding my 4 year old can't stand it when I have something to do that doesn't involve her.  Maybe this summer will be different.  Here's to wishful thinking!!!

Oh and on a side note:  DO NOT have a garage sale on a dead end street in 90 degree weather because you will get very little traffic (and make very little $$$$), and it will just be one BIG miserable weekend!!!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Twitter and I have NO idea

I am now on Twitter...follow me @ WhatNowJoAnn!!! 

Time for an admission...

I have no idea what I am doing when it comes to any of this technology stuff.  I am fumbling my way through this blog, Facebook, and now Twitter.  So please, please hang in there I promise to figure out at least 1 new thing per day (any more than 1 and my head may explode). 

As long as we are talking about having no idea what I'm doing...lets talk parenting.   This is where I fumble the most.  My kids are my world, however, I really wish that they came with a "play book".  Wouldn't that be great!!!  I would then know exactly how to react to every situation that came hurling my way.  Wow then I might even get in the running for Mom of the Year (yeah right!!!).

As it stands now I have a 16 year old who likes to think she is the adult in this relationship and a 4 year old (going on 16) who is following right in her sisters footsteps.  Lord Help Me!!!

They really are great kids (at least I think so), but they are demanding as all get out.  Somehow they always want 3 meals per day, plus snacks, clean clothes, and the most annoying of all they seem to think they are the center of the universe.  Wow I really got the short end of the stick on this, I guess that's what I get for creating Monsters. 

But when my Mom payments come in the form of "I Love You  Mom", or they kiss me goodnight, or they remember to say "Thank You" (mostly to others).  I really feel like I am doing an okay job and they are turning into great people. 

Besides, who wants a stupid trophy that says Mom of the would just be one more thing for me to dust!!!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What Now????: Always Wondering

What Now????: Always Wondering: "Linking up with Pour Your Heart Out"
"I am always wondering what people think of me. Why? I have no idea. It's not that I really care what others think of me, it's just that I..."

Always Wondering

I am always wondering what people think of me.  Why?  I have no idea.  It's not that I really care what others think of me, it's just that I am always second guessing myself, and then wondering what others think.

It happens at the most random times.  Tonight my 4 year old had a t-ball game, and we were signed up to bring snack.  I went and bought snacks (crackers and cheese & fruit snacks) and juice pouches.  I passed them out after the game.  But once I was in my car driving home I wondered what the parents thought because I forgot to put the juice in a cooler with ice, so they were somewhat warm by the time the game was over.  How absolutely stupid is it that I would care what the other parents thought about the warm juice? 

I'm not anti-social so I am friendly with the parents, but why should I care if they think I am a bad parent?  But I do care.  I don't necessarily care if they "like" me, that's not true I do want them to "like" me.  But Why???  Does this make me some crazy person who needs the approval of others?  Am I turning into someone who is going to start apologizing profusely for everything?  Why am I even concerned with something I have no control over? 

That's alot of questions that maybe I should sit down and think about...but who has the time to actually sit down?  There is dishes to do, laundry that needs to be done, baths, stories and bed.  Whew... you would think I have many more important things to occupy my brain power with...however, my mind wanders to warm juice.  I think I may be loosing it...for good this time.

Has anyone else experienced this?  Please let me know.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I need a blogging mentor

Obviously I am new to this blogging world.  And I will now admit that I need HELP!!!  I am in desperate need of a metor.  Any takers????

I have no idea what I am doing and I have at least a million questions.  I am not trying to make this my life, but I would like to feel as though I am accomplishing something.  I browse other blogs, and I have blog envy.  There are some really great blogs out there, and I feel a little jealous that I have no idea how to achieve this. 

So if anyone wants to be my Blog Guru I would welcome you, and I promise not to drive you to crazy with my questions.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Follow Your Dreams....But Don't Be Stupid!!!

Alright I admit it I watch some reality shows...(not faithfully and I only watch the auditions)

With that being admitted... PARENTS please do yourself and your children a favor and let them know they CANNOT sing, dance, etc, etc...

I love watching all of the clueless people audition for American Idol, and So You Think You Can Dance.  But what really bothers me is that there are parents standing there getting angry, upset, down right mad that the Judges have the "nerve" to well judge their babies.  That is what they are there for, right?

It is up to us as parents to let our children know that they have the ability to do anything they want.  However, this can only go so far.  I am a parent who believes that my children are GREAT, at everything they do, however, I will draw the line at letting them go on national television and making a complete fool out of themselves (and me). 

I would hope that I would have the ummmm (balls) courage to let them know that maybe this particular talent that they "think" they possess doesn't really suit their future.  I know without a doubt that my daughters will be great at whatever they choose for future career, but I am not so blind as to see that they WILL NOT be the next pop star, or back-up dancer. 

I would feel like more a failure as a parent if I let my child think that they have a shot at being one of these fame hungry idiots, rather than just sitting them down and letting them know that it is great that they LOVE to _____(insert whatever show/audition here), but maybe they should just keep that as a hobby, and focus their energies on something a little more realistic that won't embarrass them in front of millions of people.

I know I sound like a hard-a**, and I'm really not.  But come on parents stop letting your child go on thinking that they are so good, and then heart broken when someone (should have been you) tells them the truth.

So I guess the moral of the story is PARENTS:
Encourage your children to follow their dreams...but don't be stupid and let them think they are soooo good that nobody could think any different.

(by the way I really do LOVE my kids and know that they are great at everything they do....but America doesn't need to witness all of their "talents")

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Mother Nature is a B**ch

It's the end of May for crying out loud!!!  And the weather still SUCKS!!!  What the hell did we do to piss off Mother Nature this year?

My kids need to be outside!!!!  Mommy needs a break.

In my opinion it was a okay winter(not too terribly rough), but I am ready for spring/summer already.  Spring has not fully sprung yet, and I am anxiously waiting every day.  Sure there have been teasers here and there but we have not had a full week of good weather yet.

I am the mom who wants, no needs, her kids to be outside running all day, because they have way too much energy to be inside.  I am the mom who loves to watch her kids play sports (yes I am a soccer mom), I love to watch them play with friends, but most of all I just love to let them out.  And I CANNOT do that if it is raining and cold everyday. 

I do suffer from seasonal depression (I have diagnosed myself).  I need sunshine, I need warm weather, I need birds singing, and fresh air.  I need all of these things to get through the day.  I have never really thought these were unreasonable demands, however, I am now thinking maybe I'm asking for to much.  I know that I live in Michigan, but enough with this crap weather already. 

I want Summer and I want it NOW (yes now I sound like my 4 year old and I don't care)!!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

What Happened to ME Time???

I have never been great at "scheduling" time for myself, however, since becoming a mother I NEVER have time for myself.  How about you?  Do you schedule time for just you, whether going to the gym, reading a good book, or just relaxing with a drink?  And how often?

It seems for most moms that I know once we have a child/ren anything and everything about us no longer matters or requires/get any attention at all.  It suddenly becomes all about everyone (and I mean everyone) elses needs/requirements. 

I am curious about this.  How does someone like me go from being a self absorbed, spoiled brat (yes I admit this was me in my youth) this person I have become.  I have become your "typical" mom.  I will do pretty much whatever my kids want whenever they ask for it.  (Within reason of course).  I do all of the motherly things, and never give a thought to what I want or what I may need.  I am not tooting my own horn (mostly, because I am not sure if these are good qualities or not).

But every once in a while I will come upon some self pity that I have buried pretty deep, and it all comes bubbling to the surface.  I whine to myself "What about me?" "Don't I matter to anyone?"  Well I know the obvious answer to this is yes I do matter to alot of people, but try telling that to me once I have let that pity party start.

I know without a doubt I am loved, and appreciated.  But I really think that there should be some way to show every mother out there that we are appreciated for everything we do and give up. 

Maybe it starts with all the other moms we know.  Let's try it.  Next time you see a fellow parent having a hard time or just looking a little lost, try giving them a smile or some nice words letting them know that you too have had "those" days, and they are not alone.  I know from experience that it does help when you know others are feeling the same way you are.  Parenting can sometimes feel very isolated and lonely, and it shouldn't have to.  So just make someones day a little brighter and give a smile.  I sure know there are quite a few days where a smile goes a long, long way!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Not Much Happening!!!

Not really much happening in my world...

Although it has been a GREAT weekend.  Relaxing, and with mostly beautiful weather...couldn't ask for more.  I have spent alot of time with family and friends this weekend, and that has gotten me thinking about how grateful I am for my family (with includes friends).

First off, my BFF and I have decided (and started which are 2 very different things) to start working out.  We are really doing it!!! I can't believe how out of shape I really am, but I have started and now I am determined to keep going.  Sore or not (and boy am I sore)!  D (you know who you are) - thanks for the motivation and the workout time with you it really does help having you next to me.

Secondly, my family is the absolute BEST!!!  I have great kids, an awesome "better half" and great extended family.  We had a spur of the moment cookout today, great food, great conversation, and just plain ole' fun.  I love to see everyone getting along and just enjoying being together.  It should always be like that.  Sadly, in my family that is not the case...but it was today.  WAHOOOOOO!!!!

Finally, the coupons really paid off today.  I got some stuff that we use and needed for some really great deals.  And even a couple of free things.

So all in all it was a good weekend, and I am confident in saying bring it on Monday...I am ready for you.

Hope everyone else enjoyed their weekend as much as I did.

Friday, May 20, 2011


I think that everyone has been  affected by the economy at some point.  Luckily, my family has not been affected nearly as bad as most.  However, with that being said I am trying to cut back and save some money.  And just to give you all a head's up this is NOT  my strongest area.

With all that being said I have decided to start using coupons.  This sounds simple enough right???  One would think that you buy a Sunday newspaper, clip the coupons and then go shop, right?  Well no way would anything that I try to do be that easy. 

I have to admit that I have watched the shows (you know which ones I am speaking of).  And I do NOT aspire to turn my garage or basement or any other area of my home into my own person super market, but would like to have a "supply" of the things we use or eat on a regular basis. 

So as I mentioned I have watched the shows, read several different websites, and done a ton of research.  And now I am just completely overwhelmed and in over my head.  And did I mention that my "better half" laughs when I tell him this crazy idea of mine.  Support at its finest!!! 

According to everything that I have seen in order to get any of the "really good deal" you must purchase approximately 1 newspaper per person in your household per week.  Wow, that is quite a bit of money spent (wasted) right there.  Then you must have a system for keeping track of all the great coupons that you will collect.  This is just one big organizing nightmare for me!!! Finally you apparently have to go to all of the store right when the sales start so that you can be the first one in line to get the deals.

I decided to try out a couple (3) of the coupons last week (at the Drugstore, I am no where near ready to tackle groceries) and low and behold every single item that I had a coupon for was sold out, and the sales associate had no idea when they would be getting another shipment of these items.  Wow, what a waste of time!

So I guess the moral of this long winded story is I will only be buying my usual 1 copy of the newspaper per week, and I will hopefully find the items that we need/use and will buy only the quantity we use...

I have no desire to be the selfish/greedy people who buy obscene amounts of anything just because they can...

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Mom Guilt

Okay so today has been filled with "Mom Guilt"  Does anyone else suffer from this horrible disease???

Oh good, I'm not the only one!  Sure does feel like it at times.

There has been at least 15 times today that I have felt guilty but let me just give you a couple of examples.

Let's start with the beginning...I wake up and realize that at some point during the night my 4 year old has snuck into bed to sleep with me, and now I am awoken to her whimpering (not really crying because she honestly never even woke up).  Well anyways, she had rolled out of bed and hit her head, arm, should, hand, pretty much her whole upper body on my night table.  So here is where the guilt kicks in...I should have realized that she was in bed with me.  I should have anticipated that she may roll out of my bed being that it sits pretty high up. 

Alright ready for more "Mom Guilt" from just today mind you??  My sixteen year old daughter has had her license and car for just over 1 week.  Well today she parked in the garage and needed to get out.  No big deal right???  Well actually it turned into one.  She had a car parked behind her and a garbage can on the other side of her.  So she is backing out and turns the wheel to avoid hitting one and almost hits the other.  Whose fault is this???  Well mine of course (my words not hers).  I once again should have anticipated that it was going to be a tighter fit than she was comfortable with and either helped guide her, or just backed the dang car out for her.  She handled it better than expected however, I could tell that it was her first (of many) close calls while driving, which is upsetting.

So as far as the "Mom Guilt" goes I sure wish I could have super powers...super human strength, seeing the future, changing the past, invisibility...  Well the list could go on and on but you get the point.

I guess maybe after all as Mother's we do have a very special super power...the power to comfort and love our kids like no one else in the world.  And I truly hope with everything I have that I do that every single time they feel like they need it.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011


Okay I have decided that today I will blog about something that I find very important/stressful/and downright nightmare.  Bedtime!  In my house there really is no set bedtime for anyone.  With that being said...I HATE it.  I wish I was one of the parents I know or read about who put their children to bed at a reasonable time and then get to sit and relax or clean in peace or do basically whatever they want for a couple of hours.  I have to admit at this point that I am not much of a hard a**.  My "better half" is much better at the whole bedtime thing than I could ever hope to be.  Let's get some of the facts out in the open.  1) I can not stand to hear my kids crying for me, I will cave every time. 2) I have given in and let both of my kids sleep in my bed from birth. (although my 16 year old stopped a long time ago) and 3) It hasn't really bothered me to share my bed until recently.  I aspire to be a parent who bathes, brushes teeth, reads all while settling my daughter down and then I turn out the light and walk out of the room only to return a short while later and see her sleeping peacefully.  Where or where did I ever go wrong.  Oh that's right it all started at birth.  More admissions from me.  I am just to dang tired at the end of the day (OK, OK not tired probably more lazy) to deal with all the chaos that goes along with bedtime in my house.  Normally the little "angel" will get a bath, have a snack and then pretty much play until she drops. I know not good at all.  But I am a work in progress and am always looking for ways to become a better Mom, person, human.  Whew... I really hope to get some constructive comments and (possibly even a night-time nanny).  This is me laying my faults and all out here for everyone to have a great day, and remember to give me a quick thought tonight at bedtime when you have a quite house and a glass of wine in your hand.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Now What???

Alright, well here goes nothing...If you are reading this you may or may not realize that this is my 1st official blog.  I am super excited, I have always wanted to be a writer (I know I would suck, and this is as close as I will come) however, this is my chance to tell some stories and pretend that people will read them and possibly even like them.  Wow, what am I thinking??  Let me tell you a little about myself, I am the mom of two impossibly beautiful girls who I love more than anything else in this world, but at times I am willing and ready to give anything, and I mean anything for some silence and a glass (OK, OK a bottle) of wine.  My girls are 12 years apart and at times I wonder if I had a momentary laps of judgment for having a second one.  What was I thinking????  I had a child who was almost self sufficient and more than half way to adulthood, and I went and started all over again.  Whew, now don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade my life for anything (well lets not say anything) but I know I have it pretty darn good.  All this being said stay tuned for some of the interesting, over the top, and funniest moments of my world.  Or to quote my favorite phrase "Now What???"

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